A Powerful Note from a Parent
Recently a Larchwood parent and volunteer, shared her thoughts on what sets us apart from others therapeutic group programs. She also strongly believes there is space for caregivers, educators and therapists to change the way they approach the neurodiverse kids surrounding them.
This parent has had a long journey in articulating these reflections. She is also a regulated health professional and an advocate for neurodiverse kids living in rural areas with limited access to healthcare resources. She truly inspires us each year at Larchwood Farm Nature OT Camp, sharing her parenting knowledge and experience in the kindest most applicable way so that we can continue to be the best for our campers. Sada has been with us since the first summer of camp and continues to be our biggest supporter and advocate.
Sada’s Story - The Power of Observation
“I was thinking of you and the camp yesterday and how I always ask that we ease up on expectations - that it isn't our right to set the expectations but to watch the kids and try to understand where they are at - setting the goals together and that informs our expectations.
The Challenges in the Public School System
C's (Sada’s youngest son) teacher grabbed me yesterday to tell me that he refused her directions - that he normally complys but yesterday he refused. I had to think about that a lot and talk to C to understand what was going on with him. My naive mom brain would think - “C, you need to apologize to your teacher and listen to her today!”
From C's view - he was overstimulated with the excitement of Valentine’s Day, a bit of extra sugar on board, also fighting a cold, up too late and at the moment of truth... he had the chance to be the "caboose" in the line. He loves having special jobs. He is very needy and quite insecure. His teacher tends to raise her voice when she is frustrated (again, who could blame her) but yelling is very triggering for C because of his trauma background.
Why is my child always saying “No”?
His refusal was his protection and that was really important to him at the time for his survival - by now his brain is offline (also underdeveloped in the prefrontal cortex from trauma during crucial development years +/- ADHD) and refusal is the most effective way to stay safe. This is very hard to explain to an educator:
"Mrs. K, you need to do better, catch the kids when they're up stream, be a detective, check in with your students. Don't raise your voice with a student, there will be more than one child who is triggered by yelling. And I promise you that C's refusal to comply wasn't the first sign that he was having an off day yesterday - so you could have predicted that he wouldn't be able to comply with strict instructions to give up his cherished caboose position.”
Maybe to Mrs. K, being the caboose is no big deal, but if she knows anything about C, she would know that he craves feeling special because of a deep wound that he carries on the inside.
At Larchwood we have the time to be more involved
I understand that in a public school with high ratios - it's almost impossible for the educator to be involved at this depth - but at camp we can be! This is how I'm trying to teach professionals to see the kids who are struggling, to understand them and meet their needs.
Shifting our Mindset
As a mom, I've had to let go of the idea of the mom that I would be. I've had to grieve that and let it go when I was ready. I think that the same thing happens professionally.
We invest in this idea of the services that we'll provide and the type of clinician that we'll be - then we get these kids on our service that don't (can't) do any of the programming that we organize even though we're sure that it's excellent programming (and we think they have the capacity). It's not about the programming, sure programming and opportunities are very important, but we'll never get to the programming if we can't meet the child emotionally where they are at. Some days will be different and we won't get our way - but that's for us to get over - it can't be a reflection of the child's success.
Does this sound like the approach you have been seeking for your own child(ren)?
Want to learn more about the services we offer?
Maybe you even want an opportunity to hear more from Sada!? Guest speaker!
Click here or book a discovery call with Emma to chat about your family’s needs.